Flawed Beauty Read online

  He licked his lips and rubbed a hand down his thigh. She smiled at what appeared to a small case of nerves on the good doctor’s part. Instead of taking away from his charm, it made him even more irresistible. His insecurity added a more human quality to the godlike creature.

  With a soulful voice, he began to sing a nineties Jon Bon Jovi song, Bed of Roses. His voice was just as beautiful as he was. By the time he reached the first chorus, the music had taken over him. He exuded so much passion, you believed every word he sang – and that it was being sung directly to you. It took a chuckle coming from Thor for her to realize she was standing with a glass pressed against her chest, mooning after Jace. With a shake of her head at her own susceptibility, she grinned back, and continued on with her task. As she glanced around the bar, Tate saw she wasn’t the only female enamored with his sexy voice. And this would be why she didn’t date guys in a band. Dr. Jace Staton was too good-looking for his own good.

  During the next four sets, Tate delivered drink after drink, and shot after shot, to the delectable doctor from all his admiring female fans. She lined them up on the rail in front of him, but he never touched them. Looking at the long line of drinks, it once again confirmed her wisdom about not dating a guy in the band. Nothing but heartache there.

  Firmly placing the luscious Dr. Jace Staton out of her mind, Tate set about doing the job she was paid to do. By the end of the night, both her feet and back ached. She was happy when Last Call was finally announced. She was exhausted. And just to think, tomorrow night would be even busier than tonight. As she ushered the final guests out of the bar, she began the task of wiping down the tables, and flipping and setting the chairs on top of the table. Once the floor was swept, she and the other four waitresses could sit at the bar and have a well-deserved nightcap before she headed upstairs to her apartment.

  She’d given the floor a last push of the broom and turned to grab her drink, her free drink, when she realized the band members were all still at the bar, including Dr. Jace Staton. He was leaning against the bar, smiling, as Reggie and Natasha, two of the other waitresses, flirted outrageously with him. Purposefully, she slid into a stool several feet away from his group. He raised his stunning blue eyes to her and smiled, causing her heart to stop. She blushed and looked quickly away.

  “What’ll you have? Your usual?” Thor asked from behind the bar.

  “Please,” she murmured.

  Thor set the glass of red wine on the bar and asked, “How’s things at the gym?”

  “Good, thanks. I’m thinking about branching out a little. Maybe take some classes to become a personal trainer.”

  “Where would you possibly find the time?”

  She laughed. “I guess I’ll sleep when I’m dead.”

  “Don’t spread yourself too thin, little girl, you’re looking a little tired.” Thor said, concerned.

  For some reason, Tate rubbed against a snag in her chest from his words.

  “I won’t.”

  As she sat talking to Thor, periodically, she felt Jace’s gaze on her, but she steadfastly ignored him. She didn’t need the complication she knew he’d bring… or the heartache and disappointment. She finished her wine and then slipped unobtrusively away. The last thing she heard as she headed out the door was Dr. Jace Staton laughing, no doubt at something witty one of the other girls had said. She wished she could be like that… natural and easy around men – around him.

  §§§

  After teaching her eight a.m. self-defense class, Tate hopped on her ten-speed bike and headed out. The sun beat down on her as she rode down the endless bike trail lining the highway. Spring was well and truly here and Tate was happy to be in short sleeves. She leaned forward and pushed her body to its extreme, striving to beat her record from the weekend before. She peddled fast and furious and panted heavily as she passed her self-imposed finish line. Lifting the bulky watch on her wrist, she glanced at the time. Exhilaration flooded her. She’d beat her own time. Sitting up straight in her seat, she raised both arms in the famous Rocky Balboa pose.

  As she rode, she thought briefly of the luscious Dr. Staton. The way his eyes had crinkled when he’d openly mocked her for staring at him. A different persona had seemed to fall over him, though, as he sang. She could tell singing was important to him. When he sang, a type of vulnerability came over him, which made him endearing. That vulnerability was in direct opposition to what he normally presented – that of being strong and overwhelming. She shook her head at her own folly before turning her bike around and heading for home.

  §§§

  Saturday night at Zeal’s was excruciating. It was the only night Zek was forced to man the entrance to limit the flow of people into the club. This particular Saturday night was crazy busy. By nine o’clock, Internal Heat was up and rocking. Near the end of their first set, you could have heard a pin drop in the usually noisy bar when Jace once again sat on the barstool and began singing a different Bon Jovi song, I’ll Be There For You. His voice was husky, and as smooth as Irish whiskey.

  Tate had made a science out of avoiding eye contact with him all night long. But as the velvet of his voice shrouded the room, her feet just seemed to stop working – along with all the synapses in her brain. He was just so beautiful and his husky voice so sexy. Tate became aware that every woman in the room obviously felt the same way. She kept expecting to see panties fly across the room. Ignoring the knot in her stomach, she forced herself to turn away from him and continue on with her work.

  As with the night before, she was happy when Last Call was announced. It’d been a long week and she was extremely tired. Besides, she had to be up early for her self-defense class, which began at eight. If she were lucky, she could catch a good four hours of sleep – but she wouldn’t be that lucky, she never was. Moving methodically around the room, she policed the tables, and set the chairs up so the floors could be swept. She’d done this so many times, she did it on autopilot. From the corner of her eye, she watched as Jace Staton smiled indulgently at something a girl in a hot-pink leather miniskirt whispered into his ear. Tate purposely turned away as jealously swept over her for some strange reason. She’d only spoken to the man once.

  When her work was done, she headed to the bar, looking forward to a quick drink… then bed. But as she turned, as the night before, it was littered with several staff members as well as several members of the band. This time, Jace Staton wasn’t leaning against the bar, but sitting on a barstool, talking intently to Thor.

  Not understanding her draw to the illustrious doctor, Tate decided it would be in her best interest to hightail it out of there, as her mother used to say. As unobtrusively as she could, Tate grabbed her keys from under the counter and gave a small wave to Thor and Zek.

  “Where you running off to, Tate?” Zek asked, running a hand through his graying hair.

  “It’s been a long night. I’ll see you guys next week.”

  From the corner of her eye, she saw Jace’s lips twitch as if he knew she was running away from him. Irritation flared at his ability to read her so easily.

  Thor lifted his finger and pointed to a barstool directly in front of him. “You just sit your little fanny down right here and have a well-deserved drink.” The look he gave her didn’t bode for any argument. She sighed silently.

  Dave Thompson and the other members of Internal Heat all concurred with Thor. Jace just smiled but didn’t say anything. Not seeing a graceful way out, Tate walked to the barstool Thor had indicated… which was, of course, next to Jace. Tate inhaled deeply and removed her black apron before sitting down. Her butt had barely gotten settled before Thor had a glass of red wine in front of her. She smiled her thanks and took a sip.

  Feeling awkward next to Jace, she fiddled with her wine glass as she struggled with something to say. Finally, she murmured, “You did a good job tonight.”

  He grinned at her. “Thanks. It’s been awhile since I sang in a band. It felt good.”

  “Normally, I�
��d say don’t quit your day job, but I think you really could. Although, I don’t think your parents would be happy about that,” Tate said with a smile.

  “No, I don’t think they’d be very happy, seeing as how they still can’t see over all the stacks of student loans I had to take out for medical school.”

  “Are you working somewhere close by?” Tate asked him as she pushed her gold thumb ring round and round nervously.

  “I’m doing my residency at Shand’s Hospital. The hours are fierce, but I’m learning a lot. How about you? Are you in school here?”

  “What? You don’t think working at Zeal’s has lifelong possibilities?” she teased.

  Thor cut in. “Don’t let her fool you. Our little Tate is a fulltime student at the University of Florida,” he said with pride.

  “What’s your major?” Jace asked her.

  “Photography with a minor in Graphic Design.”

  “How did you get into photography?” he asked.

  “Couldn’t sing,” she said with a laugh.

  He grinned back, and raising his bottled water to his lips, he asked, “Are you from around here?”

  Tate stiffened at his question. She felt the magical moment slip away as reality once again reinserted itself. Instead of answering his question, she pointed a finger at his water. “I noticed you didn’t drink any of the drinks your fans sent you. You don’t drink?”

  “I do. But just not tonight, I’m on-call at the hospital. The hazards of my job, I’m afraid.”

  “What area do you specialize in?” she asked, relieved to have evaded questions about herself.

  Rusty Stalwart, the bass player and local pediatrician, laughed, and answered for him. “From the looks of that line of drinks, I’d say he specializes in attracting undeserved attention from the opposite sex. We all know it’s the bass player who makes the best lover.”

  In the middle of taking a drink, Jace spit a line of water across the bar and laughed at the comment. Turning his attention back to Tate, he said, “Don’t listen to him, he’s just jealous. I’m in Emergency Medicine.”

  Tate smirked at him. “I wouldn’t let your female following become aware of that, or there will be a line a mile long at the hospital. You’ll be forced to examine woman after woman,” Tate said with a mock shudder. Tate was sure he’d examined more than his fair share of women.

  He grinned at her and her heart seemed to constrict in her chest. She silently let out a shaky breath. This man could make her forget her own self-imposed rules. Before she did something stupid, like beg him to play doctor with her, she pushed her nearly empty glass towards Thor and murmured to no one in particular, “Well, it’s been a long day. I think I’ll turn in. Goodnight, everyone.”

  “Can I walk you to your car?” Jace asked.

  “No, I have an apartment upstairs, but thanks.”

  “I think I’ll walk out with you anyway. I agree, it’s been a long night,” he said, as cat-calls and sly innuendos were tossed about good-naturedly.

  Waving a dismissive hand at the guys left in the bar, Jace followed Tate to the side exit of the bar. Once they’d cleared the door and it’d snapped closed, Tate murmured an awkward goodnight once more and turned towards the wooden staircase leading to her apartment. Before she’d gone two steps, Jace laid a restraining hand on her arm. That same sharp zing traveled up her arm from his contact and she tensed, but again didn’t pull away. Turning back to him, she gave him a questioning look.

  “Hey, I have a couple of tickets to a basketball game later this week, you interested?” he asked, tucking his hands into his front pockets. Tate wondered how many women had fallen for his vulnerable act. Why would he even bother? He was gorgeous, talented, and apparently successful; he’d be desired for those things alone. His almost shy stance and dimples made him nearly irresistible. For a second – just a second – a warm glow began to spread over her body, but immediately, she squashed it down. Who wouldn’t be flattered at receiving attention from this amazing man? Trust wasn’t something she gave to anyone. She’d learned a long time ago, that when you gave even an inch to someone, before long, you were run over. She didn’t need nor want the trouble. She’d been past that period of her life for a very long time.

  Flippantly, she said, “Interested in what exactly? The tickets?”

  “No, that’s not what I meant…”

  “I know,” she let out a long breath and raised a hand to pull her elastic band out of her hair. “Listen, I… I don’t think it’d be a good thing for us to see each other outside of work.”

  He watched her curls bounce around her face with intense interest before responding lightly, “Why not? I’m single… I assume you’re single. Right?”

  “Yes, but I don’t do… the whole dating thing. I don’t have time between work and school. And even if I did, I wouldn’t date a guy in the band. Too risky, too much competition, too much… well everything,” she finished on a rush.

  “Fine. Done. I’m out of the band. Tonight will be the end of my fledgling singing career,” he said with a grin.

  She almost faltered at his flash of teeth. But with a quick shake of her head, and a sad smile on her lips, she said, “I’m sorry, but I just… can’t.”

  Jace studied her with his brilliant baby blues before giving her a sexy little smile. “This isn’t over, Tate. Thor warned me you’d be a challenge… and I do love a good challenge. This should be interesting.”

  Before Tate understood his intentions, Jace leaned forward and captured her cheek in one palm before lightly pressing his lips against hers. She inhaled sharply at the intoxicating allure of his touch.

  He brushed his lips up to her ear and whispered, “We could be so good together. Can’t you feel it?”

  Without another word, he swung around and headed off towards the parking lot, whistling.

  Tate brought her trembling fingers up to press them against her lips as if to keep the memory of his kiss just a moment longer as she sank down to the sit on the step. As small as the kiss had been, she’d felt it down to her toes – almost like lightning. She’d never felt anything like that in her life. She felt a catch in stomach at his demonstration of gentleness. She’d never experienced that before, either. He was so far out of her league. She didn’t understand the rules of his game.

  She tilted her head as she thought about the first time she remembered being kissed – she’d been fifteen – and the guy had been Bradley Rivers. She hadn’t understood the rules of his game, either – much to her travail.

  Bradley Rivers had been her chemistry lab partner at school. He’d been a nice-looking redhead, smart, funny, and never entered her personal ‘forbidden’ territories – meaning, he never made sly innuendos or suggestive comments. He’d asked her out and she’d nearly turned him down, but he’d seemed safe enough.

  He’d picked her up promptly at seven from her foster parents’ home, had introduced himself to them – ever the proper gentleman. He’d told them they were having dinner, along with game night, with his parents, and wouldn’t be out late. Tate had been impressed and excited. He must really care about her to introduce her to his parents, right? He’d driven them directly to his house, where he’d assured her his parents were really out of town for the weekend. Her first feelings of unease had begun to filter through. Not wanting to make a big deal out of it, she’d remained silent. The minute he’d shut the door behind them, he’d led her to their game room, which boasted a massive green-felted pool table in the middle. Okay, she’d thought, just a friendly game of pool – still okay.

  He’d pulled her into his arms and pressed his lips against hers as he’d slowly walked her backwards. Her heart had been pounding so hard – weren’t all girls nervous like this when they were kissed? Not wanting to seem un-cool, she’d kissed him back. Even when he’d parted her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth, she’d not stopped him or protested. This was all part of being normal. Right? He’d continued backwards until her hips were pressed
against the pool table. Pulling back from her and breathing heavy, he’d smiled, and she’d smiled back.

  “I’ve always had this fantasy about doing it on the pool table. What do you say? You game… so to speak,” he said, laughing at his own pun.

  She couldn’t stop the horrified expression which had fallen over her features. Do it? On a pool table? What kind of girl did he think she was? Then he’d told her exactly what type of girl he’d thought she was.

  “Come on, Tate. I know you put out. I just want what everyone else has had – only different and better,” he’d grinned.

  She’d wiped a hand across her trembling lips. “I… don’t do… that,” she’d stammered, embarrassed.

  “Come on, I’ve seen the video.”

  The blood had roared in her ears so loudly she’d barely been able to hear herself think. She’d stared unbelievingly into his young, fevered eyes. As she’d struggled to stop her stomach from heaving, she’d run out the door and never allowed herself to be placed in a position of unawareness again.

  She’d learned from her earlier mistake that she was a really bad judge of character – so she trusted no one. But maybe Dr. Jace Staton was different? No, she just couldn’t risk it again. Bad things happened when you put yourself out there. Disappointment swelled within her as she turned and shuffled wearily up the wooden stairs.

  She’d only been asleep a couple of hours when the nightmares began – again. They were never about the same thing, or about any one thing. It was more a collection of horrific things all rolled into a bad, very bad dream, a kaleidoscope of quick images, emotions, and feelings. She felt the pressure of hands on her shoulders, pressing her down – keeping her in her place. The place she belonged. She forced herself to the surface, and with her heart pounding, gasped as she opened her eyes. As much as she didn’t want to, she knew she needed to go back to see Dr. Barclay. She’d been seeing shrinks for almost half her life. She thought by now she’d be cured. And while a visit to them did usually lessen the nightmares, they didn’t extinguish them.