Flawed Beauty Page 6

  Hearing the buzzer that let her know the coffee was ready, Tate escaped to get Jace a cup. “How do you take your coffee?” she asked.

  “Black.”

  She poured the coffee, handed it to him, and settled back in her chair.

  He eyed her as he sipped his coffee. “So?” he asked.

  Looking down at her folded hands, she said, “Why do you need to know those things?”

  “I don’t need to know. It’s just how people get to know each other. What? Do you have skeletons in your closet or something?” he grinned.

  She gave him a small smile, but didn’t answer. Overcoming a lifetime of keeping people out was a hard habit to break.

  He studied her over the rim of his cup. “Okay, I’ll start. I was born in upstate New York, but my parents moved down to West Palm Beach when I was eight. I love the sun and beaches, but do occasionally miss the snow. I have an older brother, who fortunately messed up so much that my younger sister and I caught very little grief for the trivial things we did. He currently resides in the Federal Prison Camp in Miami, doing thirty-six months for conspiracy to possess with intent to distribute cocaine. So see, no one’s family is perfect.”

  She slowly nodded her head, but still didn’t say anything.

  After a hesitation, he continued, “My father is a financial advisor and my mother is a professor at West Palm Beach Atlantic in the history department. My sister still lives in West Palm Beach and attends the college where my mother teaches. She is in her third year and has, of yet, not picked a major, which drives my parents crazy. I was in a rock and roll band when I was in high school and had a dream of making it big that way, but my parents felt the medical field was a safer bet. Fortunately for everyone, I’ve always wanted to be a doctor also and was fortunate to be born smart, where I’ve been able to breeze through most of the classes. I hope to return to West Palm Beach to be close to my family, but it will depend on a variety of factors,” he finished on a rush.

  Again he hesitated, waiting on her to reciprocate. She didn’t.

  “I live in an apartment close to the hospital with a fellow I met in med school. His name is Sean Devlin and he comes from Tennessee. You’ll like him, as he also is a photography buff. Not as talented as you,” he said nodding towards her framed photographs of sand, surf, and sunsets, “but talented nonetheless.”

  Once more he hesitated. When she still didn’t speak, he begged, “Please tell me something.”

  Looking back down at her hands which were fidgeting, she cleared her throat and said, “I’m not from here but from a small town in Illinois. I… have no family to speak of and came to Gainesville on a scholarship.”

  “Now, was that so hard? See, I know something about you, and you know something about me. Now, we have a start of a relationship… we’re practically dating,” he said with a grin.

  Rising from her chair, she went to stand in front of her photographs with her back to him. Here, in her living room was this gorgeous, sexy man, who any woman would want – who she, herself wanted. But the divide between them was just too great. She would bet her last dollar he’d never had to eat instant noodles for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He needed to be with someone like the fun-loving Tiffany Baker, who had no more worries than how to con her parents out of money for high-priced boots. He needed someone who knew how this game was played – who wasn’t afraid to play the game with him.

  “Jace, I can’t… be involved with you.”

  “But I thought after our lunch, you changed your mind.”

  Giving a slight laugh to lighten the serious feel of the moment, she turned her head to him and said, “I’m a woman, we change our minds many times.”

  “I don’t accept that,” he said softly.

  “Why?” she asked.

  Instead of answering, he asked, while motioning between them as she had done at the gym, “So you’re not curious what this is?”

  Slowly, turning her head away from him, she shook her head. “No,” she whispered.

  She felt him move behind her and place his hands on her shoulders. She tensed, but didn’t move away. He was so tall, his chin rested easily on the top of her head. “Why not… really?” he whispered back to her.

  She wrapped her arms around her middle protectively. There were so many reasons why she couldn’t be involved with him; things that would certainly put an end to any desire on his part to be involved with her.

  “I… I just can’t. I… wouldn’t be… good for you,” she answered in soft tones. She felt her stomach tighten, afraid she’d said too much.

  He rubbed his face against her hair. “Why don’t I get a say in what’s good for me?”

  “Because you will walk away unscathed… but I don’t think I’ll be that lucky,” she said truthfully with her voice trembling.

  “So what you’re really saying is I’m not good for you,” he murmured.

  She shook her head slowly side to side. “No, it’s not that at all – probably exactly opposite of that. But you’ll hurt me. I know it. So why start something that I know will end badly?”

  Jace turned her to face him. He lifted his hands to her face and tipped it up towards his. “We all would like guarantees, Tate, but life isn’t like that. What’s to say you won’t be the one doing the dumping? You may find my quirks too difficult to live with. But I’m willing to take the chance. Why won’t you? Besides, I’m not looking for a lifelong commitment, just maybe dinner or a movie.”

  She blinked her eyes rapidly and swallowed hard. She was out of her depth here. She pulled out of his hands and turned away from him once more. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea. My life is very… complicated,” she trailed off with a shrug of her shoulders. Fear wrapped its cold hands around her heart painfully.

  Jace ran his hands through his hair in exasperation. “I’ve got to get to work. I’ll… see you later,” he said emotionlessly.

  She only nodded but didn’t turn around. She banged her forehead against the wall when she heard the door being pulled shut behind him. She winced when she hit the raised bump already on her head.

  She jumped and turned when she heard the door bang back open.

  “Screw it,” he glared.

  He crossed the room and tangled his hands in her hair. Backing her slowly up against the wall, he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her as if his life depended on it. He stroked her lips with his tongue until she opened her mouth to him. He pulled her even closer into his body and moved his hands down her back, molding her body against his. She ran her hands up his back and clung to him as he devoured her lips. The flames of desire licked up her spine and seemed to settle in the pit of her belly. With dexterous hands, he untied the sash of her housecoat and slipped it off her shoulders, leaving her standing in her nightshirt and panties.

  He gave a strangled oath at her skimpy attire and ran his hands down further to cup her firm bottom within his grasp and brought her up tighter to his hard body. She slipped her hands up under his shirt and around to his bare back and kneaded his muscles there. He began to raise the hem of her shirt when sanity and fear filtered through her consciousness. She began to pull away from him.

  “No, stop. We have to stop. Jace, I can’t. I’m sorry, but I can’t,” she murmured through deep, soul-wrenching kisses.

  Little by little, control returned to him and he slowly pulled away from her. Finishing as he’d started, he again captured her face within his hands, but this time, he kissed her softly and sweetly. Drawing back and walking backward, he said, “Tonight. Seven o’clock. I’ll pick you up. Be ready.”

  Jerkily, she nodded.

  §§§

  Tate would have liked to have slept in once Jace left, but she had her self-defense class. But tiredness and a simmering headache stopped her from working out. As she rode her bicycle home, even with her ailments, she had to admit, she was… happy. The thought filled her with a terrible forebode. She’d never wanted a man like she wanted Jace Staton; but he was so
much more experienced than she. He was a doctor, for goodness sakes. He came from a decent family and didn’t seem to have anything bad in his life other than a brother in jail, while she had… terrible things. Maybe she should just tell him and get this over with now instead of going through the motions of a relationship. She’d grown up with people knowing the travesties of her life and judging her because of those travesties. She didn’t want anyone here knowing about her past… especially Jace. Pride demanded she keep her mouth shut. She didn’t want Jace to think of her like that – the girl had by many, but wanted by no one.

  Feeling all riled up on the inside, she swallowed a couple of ibuprofen, grabbed her camera, and hit the streets. There was nothing she enjoyed more than capturing people doing the normal things of life. Heading down to the park, she wandered aimlessly through the trails, snapping pictures. She loved snapping a picture of something ordinary and making it extraordinary. She caught several shots of leaves as they floated across the sky on a gentle wind.

  She was excited to see a group doing yoga in the middle of the park. They were all dressed in white shirts with black yoga pants, with the exception of the instructor, who wore a red shirt. The visual was spectacular as their movements were coordinated and in sync. She got several great shots of all the participants with their arms raised to the sun. Then, they all lowered them to lie down on the ground, their arms spread out in front of them.

  She caught shots of couples as they sat on their blankets, looking relaxed and comfortable. Tate found herself staring at the couples. She wondered if she’d ever feel that comfortable with someone to just sit and relax. She thought of Jace, but he made her feel anything but relaxed. She thought about all he’d told her the night before. He was such an open book, and she was shut up tighter than barrel of pickles.

  §§§

  She dressed casually in jeans and a striped hoodie. Even though he said he’d be by at seven, she’d started getting dressed at five. She’d tried on every shirt and pair of jeans she owned until she finally got frustrated with herself. He’d seen her two nights in a row in black pants and prerequisite Zeal’s T-shirt. It didn’t really matter what she wore.

  Because she’d begun getting dressed so early prior to her date, she had plenty of time to download the pictures onto her laptop. She was so pleased with them. She printed out the picture of the yoga students with their outstretched arms as well as the picture of the couple. She’d begun clicking through old photos on her computer and was surprised when she lifted her head and realized it was seven-ten.

  Quickly, she shut down her laptop and checked her cellphone to see if she’d missed a call from Jace. By seven-twenty, she was beginning to worry something had happened to him. By seven-thirty, she was beginning to feel hurt and rejected. She’d just decided to head downtown on her own and had gone to get a light jacket, when she heard a knock on the door. She couldn’t stop the pounding of her heart. With hesitant steps, she headed to the kitchen door. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door to see a repentant Jace leaning against the doorjamb.

  “I’m so sorry. I got caught up at work and couldn’t get away. I never did get your number, either, the other day or this morning before I left and so I couldn’t reach you. Please don’t be angry.”

  Tate knew it’d probably be better for her if she were angry, but he was just so heart-wrenchingly handsome in his button-up white linen shirt and black jeans. He had a five o’clock shadow darkening his jaw, which only intensified his amazing blue eyes.

  All rational thought fled her mind. “You’re beautiful,” she murmured before she was aware she’d said anything. She couldn’t stop the blush which rose in her cheeks.

  Jace stopped speaking, as first, astonishment skipped across his face, followed by a quick grin. Reaching for one of her hands, he brought it to his lips and kissed it gently before tugging her forward and placing his lips against her forehead and tipping her face up to his.

  Against her lips, he whispered, “I think you’re beautiful, too.” He deepened the kiss until they were both breathless.

  Pulling back, he pressed his forehead against hers. “We need to get going.”

  Tate grabbed her keys off the counter and stuck them in her pocket.

  As they walked down the stairs, he asked, “How’s your head? Sorry, as a doctor, that should have been my first question.”

  She laughed. “I’m fine. Although my jaw and ego are equally bruised. I thought I could handle guys like Blondie.”

  “You looked like you handled Blondie just fine. It was his friends who became problematic for you.”

  “I suppose so,” she concurred. “Where are we going tonight?”

  “I thought we’d try out that new Brazilian steakhouse over on Ninth and Freemont. Is that okay?”

  “Steak is good. I’m easy.”

  “God, I hope so,” he smirked.

  Tate punched him in the arm.

  The steakhouse was busy when they arrived and they ended up sitting in the bar while waiting to be seated.

  “This feels familiar, huh?” he said, grinning and bumping her shoulder with his own as they sat side by side at the bar.

  “Certainly does,” she agreed.

  “How do you know Thor?” he asked.

  Tate wondered how best to answer. “He was in the service with one of my… foster parents.”

  “Foster parents? Can I ask what happened to your parents?”

  Tate’s eyes darted quickly around, trying to come up with anything but the truth. “They’ve been gone since I was thirteen,” she finally answered evasively.

  “I’m sorry. That had to have been hard. I’m very close to my parents and would hate to lose one of them, never mind both,” he said softly.

  “It was a long time ago,” she murmured, uncomfortable with his misplaced sympathy.

  “So you lived with foster parents? No other family, I’m supposing?” he asked.

  She looked away and shook her head. “No, no other family.”

  “What were your foster parents like?”

  “Some good, some bad. The last ones, Toby and Markus, were good.”

  “Sounds like you had a rocky road,” he said, rubbing his finger over his bottom lip thoughtfully.

  “Could have been worse,” she answered softly, thinking of the life with the Mr. Smiths of the world her parents had destined for her.

  Jace reached over and took one of her hands in his. “One day, Tate Morgan, you will open up to me. And when you do, it will be…” he paused for dramatic effect and leaned forward to whisper in her ear, “magic.”

  A shiver ran up her spine at the touch of his lips against her ear. Before she was able to respond, the restaurant’s electronic pager sitting on the bar between them began to buzz and light up.

  Throughout the dinner, Tate listened to Jace talk more in depth about his family and college experiences. He continually tried to pry information out of her, but she effectively managed to turn the conversation back to him.

  “…so, you can only imagine my parents’ surprise and delight when I enrolled in a poetry class while in high school. Not quite what you’d expect from a jock,” Jace grinned.

  “I don’t quite see you as a heart and flowers guy myself,” Tate quipped.

  He flashed a dimpled smile. “You don’t, huh? You’d be surprised. I can be quite dashing and romantic.”

  “So, why did you actually take the class? To meet girls?”

  “That was a definite plus, but actually, I took the class to help with my song writing,” he said.

  “I don’t imagine you needed any help getting the girls… poetry class or not,” she teased.

  “Have you had many serious relationships?” he asked.

  As he was cutting into his very rare steak, he missed the dart of her eyes to his face.

  “No,” she answered simply.

  He placed the steak in his mouth and closed his eyes in enjoyment. “Well worth the wait,” he murmured. “I know the
other day at lunch you said you don’t date much,” he said.

  “How about you? Have you had many serious relationships?” she asked, turning the questions back to him.

  The knife he had poised over his steak paused as he considered his answer. “While I’ve dated a few women, I’ve only had what I consider one serious relationship. She was the proverbial girl next door – really, she lived across the street, but same thing,” he grinned. “Her name was Brittany and we were high school sweethearts. We dated on through college, but it ended right before she went away to law school.”

  Tate felt a weird jealousy towards the unknown Brittany. “Why?” she asked.

  With a wry twist of his lips, he said, “She forgot which brother she was supposed to be with.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yes, oh. It was quite the shocker to find them together. Kind of a huge deal-breaker, don’t you think?”

  “Do you miss her?”

  “Umm, at first. But it was a long time ago. I’ve moved on… she’s moved on. We’ve found we’re actually better friends than we were anything else.”

  “So, you’re still in contact with her then?” she asked.

  “Yeah, not as much as before. She’s away at law school. But we catch up now and again. So, what’s the real reason you don’t date?” he asked, lifting the buttered asparagus to his lips.

  She rubbed against the tightening in her chest. She stuck to her usual answer. “Too busy.”

  “Even while you were in high school? I can’t believe guys weren’t swarming to you like bees on honey,” he said with a grin.

  She watched the green beans as she pushed them around her plate, trying not to think about the boys who’d swarmed around her and their reasons for doing so. “I’ve always known I’d need to take care of myself, and not having a family to pay for college, I knew I’d need a scholarship. So I didn’t have time to date in high school, either.”

  He was quiet for so long she was forced to look up. She found him staring at her with what she could only discern as being pity. She hated that look.